Have you ever dealt with one-sided love or unrequited love?
What is unrequited love?
When you have strong romantic feelings towards someone, but he/she doesn’t reciprocate, your love is unrequited love. In laymen’s terms, we call it ‘one-sided love’ – love that is not returned or got reciprocated. It is a disheartening experience for those who have to deal with it. Truth to be told, love is a beautiful feeling, but only when two persons accept each other and feel the emotion for each other.
When you are ready to give your 100% and want to be with that special person no matter what, you are not getting even 1% of love in return, it truly breaks your heart. One-sided love is more commonly found in the teenager. When you think love is a heavenly dynamic and when you don’t get that person, you go depressed or crazy.
This is because teenagers are very vulnerable to emotions, and they fail to control their emotions at the right time.
There are tons and tons of people who fail to deal with one-sided love. Not only the teenagers but also the adults sometimes couldn’t reason with the failure of love and turn their life into dismay. Some remain in the fantasy world of the cocoon and do not want to face reality. Anyways, let’s put this aside and let me get straight to the points on “how to deal with one-sided love effortlessly.”
Deal with One-Sided Love
Convey Your Feelings
Here again, I am focusing on the importance and need of ‘effective communication’ even if this is the case of one-sided love. How will you understand if he/she loves you or not if you don’t communicate? For example, you like a girl who works with you in the office. You both are good friends, but you have fallen for her, and you don’t know if she has any romantic feelings for you or not. You can not stay in the shadow forever, right? You must convey your feelings to her and communicate clearly about what she thinks about you too.
Usually, people keep waiting for signals and wait, but that will keep you more impatient, and it is not the right thing to do. Through communication, it will give you both a way-out and a way-in.
You should always choose to have crystal-clear communication in any relationship.
Control Your Emotions
How can you control emotions when you are in love? We can always control our emotions; the only important thing is to know-how. Even if your love doesn’t get reciprocated or returned, you shouldn’t feel like it is over. If you can control your emotion correctly, it’s actually a very valuable skill.
Even if you find he/she doesn’t have any romantic interest for you after communicating with your desired person, you must learn how to process your emotion. It will indeed take some time, but if you are determined and have a positive attitude, it won’t be an issue.
So, the second-best way to deal with one-sided love is to learn how to control your emotions.
Distract Yourself/Set Bigger Goals
Everyone should have a goal in their life that helps them moving forward and achieving their dreams.
Once rejected, you don’t always have to feel rejected. Love is a beautiful feeling, and it has the power to change a person to become better. Utilize the positive energy of love in your transformation. It’s natural to feel bad but do not let it get through your mind. You have expressed your love genuinely, and if your desired person doesn’t have the same feelings, you should respect that.
It’s not mandatory that if you love a person, he/she has to love you back. Yes, you can always expect, but you should also keep your mind open to accept the rejection. One of the best ways to transform any rejection into optimism is by ‘setting bigger goals in life.’
You can start maintaining a journal and note down points on what’s needed to be done to follow/reach your goal. Once you do that, keep motivating yourself to work on your skills.
Get yourself Engage in Other Activities
There are so many things that you can do and take active participation. One of the best ways to deal with one-sided love is to get yourself engage in other activities. The purpose is to keep yourself busy the maximum you can. Do not let yourself feel alone. It is natural to feel upset and disappointed by the thought that why he/she doesn’t love you back or at least try to feel the same as you.
All these thoughts will gradually make you feel fragile and emotionally unstable. To avoid the negativity, you need something to hold on which will help you grow and build your stronger. For example, you can enroll in sports, courses that will enhance your skill or do traveling, etc. Based on your age and maturity, you can select and choose respective activities to help you in the longer run.
There are a ton of ways to self-motivate. All you need is a little guidance and determination.
Do things that will motivate you to become a better person. If your desired person is not showing any interest or least bothered about you, it shouldn’t bother you much. You have to think that she/he doesn’t deserve you and there is someone better waiting for you at some corner of the world. When the right time comes, you will meet that person.
If you feel uncomfortable standing near to her/him or seeing that person makes you feel down, cut off from that place and be somewhere you can be yourself.
Talk to Your Friends & Family
Always talk and share your feelings and emotions with your close friends and family. They are your well-wisher; they might help you in some way. Understandably, we can’t share certain things with everyone. If you have a best friend or someone in your family with whom you are extremely close, you can share, and it might give you some emotional respite.
Usually, people don’t feel comfortable sharing with anyone about their one-sided love story or rejection. They think the other person might laugh at them. If that’s so, surround yourself with positive people. People who give you a positive vibe make you feel happy and safe.
If you aren’t comfortable with the idea of sharing with any person, you can always pen down all your emotions in a journal.
Do you enjoy being alone?
If not, you should learn how to enjoy your own company. Do what makes you happy and satisfied. If you don’t love yourself, how can you love the other person? Loving yourself won’t make you selfish. Try to embrace yourself. So what you are dealing with one-sided love; think of it as a privileged that you have fallen in love with someone and you are experiencing the ‘love’ in a new way.
Not End of the World
Being rejected or dealing with one-sided love is not the end of the world. You must think deeply about people whose suffering and pain are a lot more than what you are going through. People around the world don’t have shelter, begging for food, lost their only child, and a lot more bad things fate has played with them.
You must evaluate and consider yourself lucky enough that you don’t have to bear that level of pain. Look at your life and the world around you in a better way. Spend your time with the people who love you, spend your time traveling that will change your perspective about the world and yourself too. You will understand the meaning of life and happiness.
This point is very important for all the teenagers as I have seen and often read in the news how a teen boy/girl ends his/her life for experiencing unrequited love. This kind of news are disheartening as they don’t value their life and take such abrupt decisions.
You must learn to accept rejections. It is absolutely fine not to get the love you expected from your desired person. Like I mentioned in the above point, this is not the end of the world.
You need to ‘move on’ in your life expecting good things to come your way. Life is uncertain but exciting too, as you don’t know what’s there on your plate. You can certainly make your life better by making good judgment through your experiences. Once you understand that there is no place for you in a person’s life, you should move on respectably. It is better for both you and that person too.
Don’t Hold Grudges
Never hold grudges over any person unless they are harming you intentionally. It is a beautiful and heartfelt feeling that can’t be expressed in words when it comes to loving someone. Why hold anger and grudges? You must carry on this experience and utilize it to make your future better. Lastly, you can wish all the best for her/his life, be respectable and bid farewell for good.